Why should You read this book – ‘Lean In’ by Sheryl Sandberg

Before I read this book, I had my beliefs and stereotypes in life, which I believe now as false and I am glad this book helped me change those beliefs. I believed I had a progressive ideology but NO NO, I was wrong about myself. To start with when my friend suggested me this book, I was like book by a women talking about her ups & downs in corporate world is no good read for me anyway.  What will I learn from her. Then few weeks back I stumbled across the trailer of a Bollywood movie “ Ki & Ka”. It shows a women taking up the role of sole breadwinner for the family and the guy taking up full time job of housewife (see I couldn't find a gender neutral word). Trust me I didn’t like the feel of the trailer – it pinched me hard on the so-called ‘Male Ego’. We are raised since childhood with certain social norms and I was not ready to accept this role reversal. But now I am eager to watch this movie, I simply understand the issue to the core.

The day I started reading this book, I came across a quote on Facebook which said, “ Men are impressed by the looks of the women and women by what they hear men speak……” See the stereotyping here.  I have a friend of mine who is fighting off her parents so that she can pursue her career but her parents don’t give a damn about her career. Their only aim in life is to get her married off. I don’t blame the parents; it is the social pressure and unquestioned norms of society. Now imagine her, even before entering the corporate world which is full of struggle she is fighting the battle with those who are supposed to be her support system. Well there are many more examples like this which reinforces the fact that there is a long way to go for Equality to prevail in the society. It needs much more than just educating our daughters. And Men and Women need to take their share of responsibility to achieve this.

This book has raised lot of issues that women face in corporate world and how to tackle them. But I will not delve into that  and would rather recommend all females to read this book themselves. It is a must for them. What I want to talk about is what can men do to make this World a Gender-Neutral Equal Society. Rather I would say why should men read this book???

 There were some clear take aways for anybody who is entering the corporate world.

1. Always have two fold plans – Long term dream and 18 months plan. For the 18 months plan, keep a professional target for yourself/your team and keep a personal target like new skill to learn or XYZ fear to overcome.
2. Whenever you wana make a switch – look for Rocket ships, that have growth potential. When Sandberg got to choose she switched to Google in 2001 (way before it was known to public). And if you can’t find a Rocket ship, then look for teams/projects in your company that will act as rocket ships.
3. As far as looking for a Mentor in Corporate world, she says Don’t look for mentors. Simply excel at what you do and Mentors will see their protégés in you. And many more snippets of tips here and there.

 Moving ahead, apart from the take aways, I came across certain startling observations about women at workplace. Some of them are as follows.

1. Women seldom seek leadership roles in workplace compared to men.
2. Whenever somebody praise them for any accomplishment, they feel embarrassed, undeserved and guilty.
3. More successful a women is, less likable she becomes among her peers.  I remember when girls used to be rank holders in my class, people around me used to say no play only study why will she not get marks, it is easy for her.  Our society doesn’t believe in giving value to the merit when it comes to girls.
4. Sandberg observes that years before a female gets pregnant, she subconsciously takes decisions at workplace to factor-in the baby. She will stop taking major responsibilities years before. Now imagine, what kind of setback it is for females, how can then one expects them to stand as equals at the workplace??

Further there is a chapter on Role of Husband. Sandberg claims that women behave as maternal gatekeepers and not let husbands take up household responsibilities. Then she talks about other  things that Men should do at home, remind me to read this chapter when I about to get married – not now for sure J However, there is pertinent question in my mind – Women have come a long way at workplace, but has Men progressed at the same pace at home ???? ( have they taken up enough responsibilities at home to let women excel at work???). It is easy to say I would love to have working wife as my partner but it is difficult to be this “ Husband” to that working wife !!!

I need men and women both to think over and change certain  social biases today. Whenever a lady gets a promotion, we give credit to everything else ( u know what I mean), except the merit of the candidate. We need to remove “Gender” from our conversations. I shouldn’t say this book is written by Female COO of Facebook rather Sheryl Sandberg COO, Facebook.

If we are planning to work towards Equality, then a women needs to have a supportive Employer, supportive Colleagues and supportive Partner ( to share the family responsibilities). The ideal world would be- ‘ Half of the institutions run by women and half of the homes run by Men’. I know there is a long way to go there, but all of us need to ponder on these points/issues to make this world a better place to live in.

P.S> I would like to thank my friend who recommended this book to me. I would like to give credit to her as well for the change of beliefs I had after reading this book. J